What would happen if you were able to delete expectation from your life? Is it even possible. Well according to Yongmun (on the left), a Finnish monk living in Korea you can. Should I try to follow suite and attempt to live a life without expectation from others? It's time to make a major change and implement this advice in my life, which I consider one of the most valid piece of advice i heard in a very long time. I mean come on the man does sit there and meditates for hours, i'm pretty these deep thoughts concocted valid life solutions.
It has been a trend in my relationships and friendships to have high expectations, with every aspect, of any kind of relationship . Having high expectation in life is not so bad, but when you sit there and scrutinize every single action a person does or doesn't make, that's where the line should be drawn. I think about all the times I got upset because of the right thing wasn't said, or I wasn't comforted in way that I would expect. What a waste of energy. I'm the type a person that says that he can't live to anyone standards but his own. So, why is it that I expect things from others?
Here's the problem. My extreme confidence in my logic and decisions making skills. I'm an arrogant bastard when it comes to that, because of course in my eyes I could never do anything wrong. And well to some small extent it's almost true. One of my best qualities I find is my consideration for others, which I'm sure some people can argue against this, but really you can't please everybody. Because of this pseudo idea of consideration, I always ask myself WWAD? And of course in my head I would always react the way I would expect the other person to. Yeah, what can I say I'm perfect....
Okay I lied i'm not perfect at all. I'm basing my expectations on comparing a hypothetical hypothesis of my own reaction in my head to actual reality, and honestly I've been doing it for the passed 26 years i've been on this Earth. Of course the fabricated scenario always wins! I always considered myself a great communicator but now that I'm thinking about this, fuck maybe i'm not. Can you see the logic and decision skills at work??? Yeah... me neither!
When I get upset I get in this bitter quiet mood, and I expect the person who made me upset to come to me. Of course right? Being the arrogant bastard I am, I never initiate because I never do anything wrong. And then I expect them to know what they did wrong! God i'm so embarrassed to admitting this, because I realize how immature and anti-functional my process of anger really is. No solutions are ever made, except for me telling the person what I would expect next time, which of course they can never give, because everyone has different ways of handling situations.
Now this is where blogspot comes into my life. I want to not only document my adventures, my life, but also my Incomplete Thoughts. A lot of what I say will be disorganized chaos, because thats how my minds works. Hopefully the start of this blog writing process will allow me to organize thoughts, and have better solutions for myself. My first blog is dedicated to a change I want to make in my life, and that is to not expect anything from anyone. Instead I need to better vocalize the things I want, and enjoy people for the flaw beings that they are. I accepted myself as a flawed individual, so now it's time that I do the same for others. I would update the process later in the writing process, because right now I don't have an answer.... so we shall see...
Good luck self
<3
Self
